Sage Advice from My Beloved Mother for You on Mother’s Day
Happy Mother’s Day!
I want to wish all of you who are mothers and guardians of pets a very happy and wonderful Mother’s Day. It is a day to honor those who gave us life and who also gave so much of their lives to provide for us and to support us in so many ways.
When she was alive, my mother Ginger was not only my mother, but also a dear and treasured friend whose counsel was very important to me. I shared deeply with her and she knew my heart better than almost anyone else. When I attended a grief group after losing someone I loved, I heard a number of women in the group who were mourning various losses all still speak of wanting to pick up a phone to talk to their mothers who had long since departed.
My mother was a very old and wise soul. She was the second eldest of six siblings, consisting of four other sisters and one brother, who was the youngest, and she outlived them all. I believe this was partially because of my involvement in maintaining her health, my knowledge of health-related issues, the many healing modalities that I am privileged to know, and through the fabulous homeopathic care administered by one of my dear friends who is a classical homeopath and nurse practitioner. My mother also had excellent care from her kind and wise medical doctors. But most of all, in almost reaching her 92nd birthday, I believe my mother’s longevity was a result of her indomitable spirit, her love of life and her unwavering faith in God.
My mother Ginger, with her beautiful red hair and freckles, relaxing on the patio. Photo by Donna El Haber, 2007. All rights reserved.
She would always share that someone was watching over her. Whenever I was down and feeling in despair, she would say, “You’re not a quitter. You’re a fighter.” I would often respond, “No mom, I’m not a fighter. You are.” She was my role model for extraordinary inner strength. She would talk about the strength of the Vikings and approaching problems with the strong will and intensity of a Viking.
She loved history and beautifully produced British movies like “Pride and Prejudice” that reflected more gentile times. She enjoyed watching many different PBS programs. And she also loved “Dancing with the Stars.” When that show comes on each season, I imagine her watching it in heaven with me. And I sometimes think, “Did you see that extraordinary dance, mom?” And we also used to love to watch “So You Think You Can Dance” together.
After my father died of cancer, my mother found herself also battling cancer. When she was in remission, it was dancing at New York’s Roseland Ballroom almost every night that brought her spirit back to life. She came alive when she danced. It was her passion. On her monument, my sister and I included the phrase, “I’d rather be dancing,” the Capezio slogan that she so loved.
She also loved to sew, design and create. She used to get so much joy in creating baby quilts for those expecting babies or to create pillows and bread basket liners for family and friends. She always taught me about the joy of giving.
Cat Pillow and Basket Liner by Ginger. Photo by Donna El Haber, 2010. All rights reserved.
She dearly loved both my dogs who were like her grand dog children. They were her pride and joy. I am so grateful that she was here during the three weeks they got to be brothers before my beloved Socrates passed.
On her walker, she used to have a bag with pictures of many breeds of dogs. In one corner was a black-and-white English springer spaniel. When my sister told us of her litter of puppies and the one she had in mind for us, my mother affirmed that Harry was coming as his picture was already on her bag.
My mother was actually a very gifted psychic. I can recall one incident in particular when we were waiting for her to begin a physical therapy session. A young woman on crutches with a cast on one of her legs came out of the physical therapy room and my mother asked her, “What happened? Did you have a soccer accident?” And the girl said, “Yes, how did you know?” I wondered that as well. How did she know? She knew so many things.
She loved astrology and used to buy many astrology books. She also always had the intention of learning to read Tarot cards, but ultimately did not pursue that interest.